Monday, January 16, 2012

Childlike in thought - in more ways than one.

This morning, my 7 month old was crying as he lay on the floor surrounded by toys of different shapes, sizes and colors. I had to get my 2-year-old some breakfast and get something to drink myself before picking him up to nurse him. I accomplished what I needed to and made my way over to him. Looking down at his pitiful face, I calmly stated. "Honey, I know your needs, and I WILL meet them."

As these words came out of my mouth, I started thinking . . . how many times does Christ speak through his Holy Spirit. "I know your needs. I WILL meet them." Yet I keep on just like my little boy, kicking, screaming, and wondering if He even knows I exist.

Then, the other day, our family was out in the snow for quite a while when my 2-year-old emphatically stated that he was cold and wanted to go home. My husband got down on his level and told him that we were going home. He just needed to trust Mommy and Daddy. What my son didn't realize was that we still had a three block walk to get back to the car. In his mind, we were keeping him out in the cold longer. In reality, we were heading back to our vehicle as quickly as possible to get out of the wind and get him home to get warm.

How many times do I keep whining when Christ is answering my request as I speak, but I don't trust him. I think, "Well, we're not home yet, so I guess he doesn't care to get me out of the cold."

This kind of trust - the trust that we long for our kids to have in us....that we love them, we know their needs, and we will meet them just as we promised.... is the same kind of "Childlike Trust" God wants us to have in Him.

That's why He has given us the Holy Spirit in the first place - to meet each of those needs. Luke Chapter 11 says that even you, though you are evil, give good gifts to your children. Will not God much more give the HOLY SPIRIT to those who ask?

Lord, I want to live and walk in your Holy Spirit today. Give me that childlike trust in you that you will do that which you've promised.

*Pictures of the day will only occasionally be posted here now - All are posted on my facebook page : )
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Monday, January 9, 2012

I reacted

It's been a long weekend. One that has, no less, been just as challenging as it has been lengthy. In the midst of it all, I have continued to learn and attempt to put into practice new lessons.


I got home from work Friday night to the announcement that my washing machine was broken. Immediately, my emotions flared as I realized how far behind I would be on laundry by Monday and the fact that both time and money were lacking in replacing the washer as quickly as I may wish. I rapidly entered a self-pity and blaming attitude and my husband was the recipient of the rush of words. Just a few minutes later, I heard that still small voice - the thin silence of the Spirit.


Hannah, you just reacted in the flesh to a circumstance in life. But I have empowered you to respond in My Spirit by letting My peace reign in your heart even in the midst of chaos. When you don't understand, trust that I do. I'm still in control.


In that moment, I realized that a dynamic difference exist between reacting and responding. When my eyes are focused on myself and the chaos and storms around me, my temper flares, I claim rights, walk in pride, stiff arm God, and alienate relationships around me. However, if I keep my eyes fixed on Jesus (the author and perfecter of my faith), I will be given the grace in that moment of need to respond in his Spirit.


Note: this doesn't mean that I walk on "cloud nine" 24-7 pretending that life is fine and dandy amidst terrible things that happen. Life happens; life hurts. But by taking that hurt, my questions, and my emotions to God, I am given the ability to take that next step with the Spirit and see the fruit of Him working in my life - resulting in greater Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.


The Fruit is possible! I just have to remember that fruitfulness doesn't come from my own pursuit but by allowing Christ's Spirit to live in me.


My husband and I worked things out, and I got things right with God as well. Lord, thank you for forgiveness and grace to start again. Help me keep my eyes fixed on you and allow your Spirit to continue its work in my heart and life.



Picture of the Day
Yes, I continued taking pictures over the weekend, but didn't have time to post them - here they are...


Day 6: This is Elijah - He pressed his face to the window to show me his piggy nose :)

Day 7: Noticed this hand print on the mirror of my wardrobe. I was half tempted to clean it off, but then decided to capture it - realizing these little "nuisances" will be gone all too soon!

Day 8: My best friends today after only getting 4 hours of sleep!

Day 9: Some of a mother's most useful tools during the infant period! I use these multiple times a day.


Thursday, January 5, 2012

It's Kind of Like Amazing Race...


I have a lot on my heart today. Not a lot to say - but a lot on my heart.

I think I caught my son's puky bug. But it hit me in an emotional sense as I emotionally vomited all over my husband today. And this time it didn't miss. It was messy. He helped me clean it up, and I'm feeling a little better, but I'm still a little heart sick.

I've been attempting to discover the route of this expedition, and I'm starting to realize it's going to be more like Amazing Race than I first thought as each "clue" doesn't reveal the final destination, but just the next step. Sometimes, I wish I had a full course map, detours and all - but I guess that would take the element of trust away. Luke 12:12 puts it this way, "The Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say." (emphasis mine)

So I guess that's how I'll have to expect this journey to go - step by step.

Lord, help me stay in tune and in step with you, trusting that you know the final destination and you will lead me there in your time.

*I work this weekend - so I won't be blogging much. Look forward to talking to you in a few days!

Picture of the Day


Self portrait #1. One of my favorite companions to my study = my coffee!

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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Clean Up On Row 7, Please!

4:45 AM - I'm awakened suddenly by a screaming child who twenty minutes later proceeded to projectile vomit all over me and my bed, narrowly missing my husband. And we're not talking a trickle - we're talking a geyser! (Sorry if that's too much information for some of you.)

Pass the barf bags - clean up on row seven, please!

Needless to say, this is not the way I anticipated my morning going. With this ill-planned interruption to my precious sleep, I did not get up at the planned time, and therefore, my whole morning was thrown off kilter. Ahhh! What a way to knock me back into stress mode - I mean, how am I supposed to learn to fly if I don't even have time to read the manual?

Where is the flight attendant? Co-pilot? Anyone? Ick!

I proceed to get cleaned up and move on with my day, rearranging priorities and reorganizing plans. This is not my day. As I sat down to do some Bible reading, I was feeling sorry for myself. I began to read in Luke 11. Jesus asks, "Which one of you, if your son ask for a fish will give him a scorpion? Or if he asks for bread will give him a stone?" In the same way, your father in heaven knows what you need before you ask him. (good, because I was needing something this morning) How much more will your Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask......Wait a minute - Rewind......I've always heard that passage paraphrased as "If you as parents give your kids good gifts, you know your heavenly father gives you good gifts too."

Apparently, this good gift is the greatest giver - that of the Holy Spirit. Wow! What a realization!

Lord, help me to be more focused on the giver then the gifts!

And by his grace, this "puky" day was turned around for His Glory!

Picture of the Day


New Recipe Wednesday! Tortellini with Gorgonzola and walnut sauce. (Thank you, Rachael Ray!)
1 pkg 12-16oz family size tortellini (prepare according to package directions)
1 Cup Chicken Broth
8 oz. Gorgonzola cheese
Dash of salt and pepper
1 Cup chopped toasted walnuts

While tortellini is cooking, heat chicken broth, cheese, salt and pepper over medium heat. Simmer until cheese melted - about 2 minutes. Toss sauce, tortellini, and walnuts together - serve hot! 

I used spinach tortellini instead of the classic...Jared said it was a keeper!
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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Um, Tower? I think I'll Hide now. Over.

1 Kings 19:11-13

And he said, "Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord." And behold the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. [also translated "thin silence"] And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him, and he said, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

This fascinated me the other day as I continued to study about how Elijah learned to listen to the spirit. God very specifically told him to go out and stand on the mountain. I can only assume that Elijah obeyed - and all of the sudden chaos erupted - literally. Near the end of this passage, when he finally recognized the spirit, it states he went out....... Wait a minute! I thought he was already out of the cave and on the mountain - apparently, at some point, he returned to hiding. Was he scared? Was he failing to believe the promise of God? I only wish I had the answer.

How many times do I seek the voice of God only to be distracted and frightened by the interfering chaos that sounds me and is so prevalent in this world? How many times do the winds of change (change in laws, in policy, in my church, my work, my family) change my entire outlook on life? How many times does an earthquake of struggle hit, and my beliefs are shaken from their foundations? How many times does a fiery trial of tragedy devastate and devour all that I hold dear? I look to the wind, the quake, the fire...where are you now, God? And somewhere in the midst of it all, I run. I hide.

Little do I realize, God has been there the whole time - the Tower watching over this feeble pilot. Maybe what He wanted me to see all along is that he's still there, standing strong, even after the dust settles.

Lord, give me the boldness to come out of the galley and return to the seat trusting that you are there amidst the storms!

Picture of the Day


This is a picture of the fountain that Jared made me for Mother's day three years ago. I love sitting near it in the morning when I'm studying!

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Monday, January 2, 2012

Um, Tower? Come in. Over.

I can only hear broken pieces of words surround the static as I frantically compress the talk button and summon my commander once again. "Tower, Come in. Over." The static takes over the line as I make out, "Ta....nd...ff the....utton." I still can't make out what they're saying. "Tower. I cannot read you. I repeat, I cannot read you! Over." My anxiety level grows as I realize that if I cannot hear from Tower, I'll never get these wings off the ground - and I'll never start my expedition, much less complete it.

I look around the cockpit at all the flashing lights, levers, and buttons. I don't have a clue what I'm doing here. How am I supposed to fly this thing?

I adjust the gain and the frequency of my radio and try again. "Tower! I need some imput here. Over." I slouch back in my chair and drop my hands into my lap. The silence broke with a loud commanding voice, and I had to cover my ears at the sheer volume. I adjusted it down to a more tollerable level just in time to clearly hear. "Take your hand off the button. Over."

My mouth dropped. I was so preoccupied with aquiring Tower's attention that I had scarcely released the talk button long enough to even hear a responce. I sat back, placed my hands in my lap, and listened.

Lessons learned from Elijah - 1 Kings 19. Stay tuned for more of what I've learned from my conversations with Tower.

Picture of the Day


Yes, my Christmas tree is still up. For some reason, I don't think the rememberance of our Savior's birth and the celebration of such should be limited just to the end of the year - why not carry it through the new year and start things off with the right perspective! : )

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Sunday, January 1, 2012

Why Are We Still Taxiing?

As I continued to read this morning, it struck me that though I have been given clearance for takeoff, I continue to taxi down the same runway looking for the right direction to start my journey.

I, in my sinful, fleshly self have been crucified with Christ. My sin nature no longer has power over me. Romans 6:6-7 states it very clearly. "For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin - because anyone who has died has been freed from sin." Once freed through Christ, we no longer live in subjection to our sin nature. It is gone - done away with! So why do I keep living in a state of constant struggle? Why does it seem like I've seen this scenery before?

Colossians chapter two addresses this question: Vs. 20 - "Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules:"? Paul continues, in Colossians chapter 3, to address this matter by saying that since we died with Christ, and our lives are now hidden with Christ, we should make a practice of continuing to put to death the things that belong to our earthly nature (immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, idolotry). Since our old self is gone, we have access fully, freely, and completely to the new self (created to be like God)!!! We have the wings, the jets, the fuel for the full journey!

So it seems to me that I get stuck on the first step of the process. I've been crucified with Christ and set free from sin! Yippee! Now what? It doesn't end there. Passage after passage of scripture speaks of a continual process of putting to death, doing away with, considering rubbish that which belonged to our earthly nature or flesh. Instead, I continue to subject myself to the laws of gravity, taxiing around the runway forgetting that I have been equipped with everything I need for the flight!

Lord, give me the boldness to leave the ground!

Picture of the Day


These are two very special items right now. God blessed me with this pair of boots a few weeks ago - which is wonderful as my other pair of dress boots were coming apart at the seams. Behind is is an antique wardrobe that my grandmother passed on to me! Lord, Thank you for your blessings today!
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