"The Challenge" How to Survive this Crisis as a Whole Person

We are in a challenging time. Most of us are stuck at home. Our kids are here. And we have nowhere to go and "nothing to do." The best way to weather a crisis is as a whole person! We cannot expect to survive this challenging time physically and hope that our mind and emotions catch up later. 

It's hard to know how to manage our time, how to invest in our families, how to make decisions when all our "normals" are gone. Our hearts feel out of place and confused. We have to create new "normals" for ourselves and our kids.  

So we've created a resource to help your kids engage in where you are with their whole person. Each day, they can chose one activity from one category (not the same category two days in a row). We have options that engage the body, the mind, the emotions, their faith, and ways that help them to think of and serve others. 

Feel free to download and print whichever (or both) guides you need. Engage with us on our Facebook group "The Challenge" by Scripted Story (COVID-19 style). We would love to see how you are being fully present where you are right now. 

Downloads can be accessed here: "The Challenge" Facebook Group Feel free to share with friends!

If you don't have a Facebook account and would like the printable packet emailed to you, simply email us at scriptedstoryresources@gmail.com and we will get it to you as soon as possible. 

Now may the God of peace . . . . equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever amen. Hebrews 13:20-21

Loving God and Loving our Neighbor in the Midst of the COVID-19 Crisis: 7 Ways a Christian can Respond

I pulled into the Aldi parking lot, and I was curious that there were so many cars. It’s not the beginning of the month, it’s not even a typical bi-weekly pay week for most people. Why are there so many people here on a Thursday evening?

You see, Thursday evenings are my typical weekly shopping trip while my oldest is at Karate. I had a few of my other boys with me, so we took our time finding a parking spot and unloading. We got our cart and headed in. I started gathering the groceries that I needed, somewhat surprised that Aldi had not kept up on their stock this week. Bread, can goods, cereals all picked over. People’s carts were loaded. Something was going on.

By now, most of you might wonder how I didn’t know what the mad rush was. What, is she naive? How does she not know about the impending Armageddon? I was very well aware of growing concerns of the COVID-19 virus causing some issues in the US. I’m a nurse. I get state issued health bulletins which recently have encouraged good hand hygiene, staying home if you’re sick, and limiting large gatherings. But what I couldn’t understand was the mad rush to stock up – that is, until I was getting my milk.

I had my five-year-old reach in the refrigerator door and pull out one gallon. That’s all we needed this week. A lady walked up behind me and curtly stated, “You may want to get more than that. The US is going to be put under mandatory quarantine for four weeks! They’re going to announce it Monday! I have a good source! He’s in the military!” She continued her rant as she moved on behind other people leaving in her wake a current of fear and chaos.

For a moment, my heart started beating faster. Why hadn’t I heard this? Why hadn’t the state health bulletins told us it was coming to this? I thought about grabbing a bunch of canned goods, boxed goods, frozen meals. I mentally analyzed my pantry, what did I need to get us through four weeks? Diapers? Cereal? Toilet paper? Too late on that last one as most of the toilet paper was already gone.

I realized what I was doing – reeling in assumptive panic based on a random woman’s comments in Aldi. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. I thought through the logic of that actually happening and considered the source of the information that had turned my normal shopping trip on its emotional head. I spoke truth to myself and considered wisdom in this situation. What was my mission as a believer in Christ living in a culture that is panicking?

Our country is in panic mode. Fear is reigning. People are responding out of desperation. Ironically, similar things were seen before during Y2K, when SARS was active, or when the H1N1 strain came to the US. As believers in Christ, we are not supposed to respond as the culture does in these times of crisis. What is the greatest commandment? Love the Lord your God. The second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself. This is our mission. This is the standard we are to hold in times of peace and times of fear.

So, in the midst of the COVID-19 chaos, how are we supposed to love God and love our neighbor?

Do Not Give Way to Fear

The major pandemic right now is not this virus. It is the fear being created and mass panic resulting in irrational behavior. As believers in Jesus Christ, we are called to rise above fear.

As I loaded my groceries in my trunk and the cars continued to flood the parking lot with people literally running into the store, I heard the birds chirping. I closed my eyes and simply listened. I remembered a conversation Jesus had with some of his followers. Consider the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they? Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself (Matthew 6:26, 34). I breathed deep the goodness of God, and I smiled as I passed my cart to the next panicked shopper.

Our God created this world out of nothing. He sustains all things by his powerful word. He spoke a word and the blind saw, the lame leapt, the sick were healed, and the dead were raised. He conquered death, hell, and broke down the dividing walls of separation.

When I live in fear, I am denying the power of God and trying to grasp control like trying to hold sand as it slips through my fingers. He is all powerful. How can I think that our sovereign God is not aware of this virus and does not have the power to provide for our needs? He knows the very hairs of my head and the number of grains of sand by the sea.

Trusting God, choosing not to fear, this is one way of loving God in this time of uncertainty.

Continue to Engage in Worship

We’ve heard from many of our churches. Some states are limiting large gatherings. This may affect the ways that you engage in worship time or community. But don’t let that be an excuse for taking a break from your pursuit of God. God is found by those who seek him. And Jesus is enthroned on the praises of his people.

Take the extra time from cancelled events, church related or otherwise, to get quiet before God. Tell him your concerns. He cares. Ask him how you can meet needs around you. Praise him for his protection and his provision. The sun rises and sets each day only by His command. Worship Him in the splendor of His holiness.

If your church offers streamed services, gather with a small group of friends or simply stream them in your own home. If this isn’t an option for you, many quality Gospel messages can be found on YouTube. Some of my favorites are Matt Chandler, Francis Chan, and John Piper. Allow your soul to be soaked in the truth of God’s word. It’s the one thing that can combat the mass hysteria in our culture right now.

Let’s continue to express our love to God even when we can’t do so corporately!

Know the Source of Your Information

The woman that created that sense of fear in my heart was not a quality source of information for me. More than likely, she is simply viscerally reacting to fear inducing news stories and maybe a conversation with a friend.

My family has determined that it is not healthy for us mentally or emotionally to engage in the news media. We do not watch national or local news shows. We do not follow the news on social media. We are well aware that the large majority of these sources blow stories out of the water creating cultures of fear, anger, and anxiety. The media leads our culture. And the more we engage in it, the more likely our hearts are to be led astray as well. We also realize that we need to have some form of information when it comes to current events. Personally, we choose to follow Christo-centric news sources such as Family Research Counsel and the Heritage Foundation. We also look for accurate and up to date information from original sources such as legislation in action, CDC, and the state health bulletins. If you choose to engage in the national or local news sources, please be aware that they typically only share what is most exciting or scary. They thrive on inducing fear. And their storytelling is typically embellished to make things more interesting.

Use wisdom. Be aware of where you are getting your information. Let’s love our neighbors by proclaiming truth and wisdom, not inciting fear and panic from non-credible sources.

Use Common Sense

Most of what is being recommended by the national health agencies right now should be common practice anyway. Hand washing was shown to have significant impact on decreasing the transmission of bacteria and viruses back in the 1850s (History of Handwashing). For some reason, it has lost popularity. Please wash your hands after touching high traffic surfaces – door knobs, light switches, tables, store check out counters, and restaurant tables. By all means, wash after using the restroom and before you eat. Common hand soap and running water for twenty seconds is sufficient. This is not hypervigilance, this is common sense.

Please stay home if you are feeling ill. The concern here is possible exposure to vulnerable populations and the continuation of spread of a virus. Elderly, and those with underlying health issues are most susceptible to long term health issues from this virus. We can love our neighbors by not unduly exposing them.

Please don’t overrun your hospitals for concerns over common colds. Know the symptoms of the virus, and seek medical help only if necessary. We need to manage our health personnel in a way that keeps them available for those who need them most.

Please don’t go crazy buying tons of hand sanitizer, Lysol, and medical masks. Our health industry – nurses, doctors and first responders need access to these as they are caring for those who truly are ill. If you wash your hands, don’t touch your face, and stay home when you’re ill, your need of these items are not essential.

Prepare but Don’t Panic

A major issue with mass stockpiling is the issue of supply and demand. Evidence is already speaking to this as bottles of hand sanitizer are going for hundreds of dollars on Amazon. Shelves are empty of diapers, toilet paper, canned goods and frozen meals. If I had jumped into the chaos stocking hundreds of diapers and rolls of toilet paper clearing the shelves of reserves, what would happen when the mom down to her last diaper needs one? Some people are not in a financial situation to stockpile and have to buy groceries and supplies as they are able. If the shelves are empty or the prices exorbitant, they will wind up lacking their needs.

As a Christian, I cannot simply consider my own needs, I am told to love my neighbor as myself. And I cannot reconcile mass stockpiling with considering the paycheck to paycheck single mom down the street.

Wisely, when it comes to being prepared, it might be prudent to have a week or two of shelf stable items in your home in case you get ill and need to stay away from others. This keeps you from exposing others at the store or pharmacy. When I was at Aldi, I decided that one extra box of diapers, a couple boxes of instant oatmeal, and some boxed mac which would give us a few extra options if we were home bound for a few days.

Consider Other’s Needs

As you think about how this crisis, possible shutdowns, and cancellation of events effects you, don’t forget to consider how the effect others as well.

What of the elderly lady who is home bound? Does she need groceries? Someone to pick up her medications? What of the poverty level kids who are not able to get meals at school for the next few weeks? Are their local programs you could donate to? Could you prep some meals or drop off some lunch items to a neighbor who may be hurting?

How can we be the body, the hands and feet, of Jesus in this time of Crisis? Look for the needs around you. Ask God to show you how to love your neighbor well. He will. Then act – out of love. 
Not fear!

Continue to Live Your Life

It’s tempting in times like this to immerse ourselves in the current event and forget that each minute, each day, our children are growing, our families are aging, and moments are passing. Use these times when you are home more together to invest in each other. Play games. Ask questions. Snuggle. Spend extra time with your spouse. Make memories.

Communicate to your kids this current crisis in terms they can understand, but don’t create fear. Communicate truth. Love your kids by leading them to Jesus when they are afraid. (Your children are your neighbors too.)

Do what you do with excellence and for the glory of God. Even the eating, drinking, cleaning, and wiping baby bottoms are ways that we can bring God glory if we choose to serve Him by serving those He’s blessed us with. Love God by loving others!

Friends, God’s got this! Might it be possible to look at this situation as more of an opportunity than a threat? How can you choose to rise above? How can you choose to love God and love others in the midst of the COVID-19 crisis? May we love Him and love others well! 

When Pain is Not The Problem

One night last week just before bedtime, my ten-year-old called me over. “Mom, I have a toothache, and my gum hurts a lot too.”

I did what any mom would do and grabbed a flashlight. Shining the bright LED into his mouth, I saw a red, swollen gum where he pointed to the source of the pain. “Ouch, dude. That looks like it hurts. How long has that been going on?” I asked.

“Since Saturday.” He responded.

I called my husband over, and we both made the decision that we should probably make a trip to the dentist in the morning. It could be a cavity or even headed toward an abscess. Anxiety rose in my heart as I thought about how this might affect our next few days – the time involved, the cost, and managing his pain. We gave him some ibuprofen and ushered him to bed.

I didn’t sleep well that night, and the next morning, I felt my nerves on edge until we called the dentist’s office and settled on a 9:00 appointment. We quickly got the kids ready and gathered the school books – can’t let an appointment turn the school day on its head! And we headed out the door.

My mind raced as I thought through all the possibilities as the road moved under our tires. Would they do something today? Would we have to schedule another appointment later this week or even several appointments? How would he handle the procedure(s)? And most of all, I felt like some sort of failure for not teaching him to brush his teeth better. Cue “bad mom syndrome.”

I sat in the waiting room with the younger boys while my husband went back with the oldest. I bounced my knees with nervous energy. What were they finding? What was taking so long? In reality, they were probably not gone more than about twenty minutes, but it felt like an eternity.

When they emerged, my son made a bee-line for the video games, and my husband walked over. He shrugged his shoulders. “Everything is good.” He stated calmly. I’m sure my mouth dropped. “His teeth are all intact, no decay, no infection. It’s just his adult teeth trying to push the baby molars out. The dentist said to encourage him to wiggle them more to get the little ones out of the way.”

I blinked a few times as the news settled in. My son was growing up. He was in pain because he is growing into the man God wants him to be. Wiggle the tooth. The new one will come in. Everything is okay. The pain is not a problem.

We got back in the car, and I drove in silence as I processed this rather good news. And it revealed something to me – Pain is not always a problem. It does not always signify a problem. Sometimes it signifies growth. In some ways, I felt like an idiot for not thinking through that possibility in the midst of all my worrying. But in other ways, I wonder if God allowed this small speed bump to teach me a deeper lesson.

We are trained to look at pain as a problem. We are raised with the ideas that pain is your body’s way of telling you something is wrong. The sore throat tells you you’re sick. The headache states that you’re tired, stressed, or in need of coffee. The burning lungs might signify asthma, and the aching heart can whisper of loss. We pull our hands away from heat so we don’t get burned. We add layers if we are tingly cold. We step away from relationships that seem too hurtful.

On the other hand, the aching gums tell us we are growing up and getting new teeth (yup, I know this now). The burning muscles tell us new fibers are being added and we are getting stronger. And the rhythmic tightening of the womb tells us we are about to birth new life. Pain doesn’t always mean something is wrong. Sometimes, pain tells us that something is very much right!

The problem comes when we look at all pain from the same angle without taking time to understand its source or its message. We feel a sensation that sends a signal to our brain – “pain” is the message that is communicated from that source. But the nerve impulse doesn’t differentiate between bad pain and good pain. It’s just all sensed as “pain”.

The nervous system is incredible in its ability to warn us of a problem. God created it this way, and it is very good. I’m amazed at how quickly we will remove our finger from the poke of the needle before we even consciously realize that we were pricked. Pain is in place to protect us from further injury.

But pain is also present in growth – as in the case of my son’s tooth. His gums were being “injured” to some degree. His nerves were sending a message to his brain which communicated pain. The process of the baby teeth being replaced by the adult teeth can be painful as the mouth makes room for the larger molars. But that pain signifies growth, not a problem. So my getting worked up over a potential problem actually served to create much more stress than was ever necessary. There wasn't a problem after all!

What if, when we sensed pain, we took an honest look at it? What if, rather than working ourselves into a frenzy, we slowed down and considered all the options? What if we looked at pain as a gift rather than a problem? What if we saw it as potential for growth rather than an inhibitor to our lives? What if we pushed into it rather than avoiding it?

The adult tooth will take longer to come in if my son does nothing. The dentist said to wiggle the baby one, to work on getting it out of the way. If my son tries to ignore the pain and live his life, the pain will last longer. But if he wiggles that tooth, the new one can break through and he will grow one step closer to being a man.

What do you need to wiggle today rather than worrying about or ignoring? It’s natural to want to avoid what hurts us, but what if engaging is what it takes to see a friendship blossom? It’s easy to worry when we don’t understand cause, but what if taking time to understand brought clarity? It’s tempting to pretend everything is okay, but what if getting honest with ourselves is how healing comes?

We have a choice in how we handle our pain. We can worry about it. We can try to avoid it. Or we can wiggle it and see what potential lies under the surface.

It might just be that a new tooth is ready to emerge! 

The Role I Never Asked For

“Be here now” is a phrase that hangs on my living room wall. It’s also a common phrase to hear tossed around my home as well as that of my extended family. The concept is simple. The practice, not so much. Behind this phrase lies the idea of learning to be present, to be engaged, to not be worried and concerned about many things. Yes, I tend to have a Martha heart, so the goal of being present is one I constantly strive toward.

Each year, I prayerfully choose a word to make my aim for that year. 2020’s word happens to be “Present.” I anticipated simplifying, letting some things go, and taking on less responsibility. What I didn’t expect was the precursor battle over where I would need to be present.

Leading up to the shift in decades, I thought I knew where I would be when the twenty-teens turned the corner. I would be in a smaller house with less commitments, I would be homeschooling my boys, working part-time, and basically choosing where to invest my extra time. But my journey took an unexpected turn when in early November, my husband experienced a crisis of anxiety, panic, and insomnia that we later learned was connected to complex PTSD.

My semi-predictable world was turned upside down. Our home was under contract to be sold and we were negotiating projects to be completed before closing. I was managing guests and maintenance at our AirBnB property a town away. I was homeschooling our sons. And now, in the midst of my husbands near daily struggle, I found myself alone in managing much of life and thrust into a new role that I never asked for.

Mental illness is something that happened to other people, not us! Really, if anyone lost it, it should have been me. My husband was a rock! Now, I couldn’t be strong enough to make him feel safe. I found myself having to learn to listen to deep, dark struggles and scary thoughts – honestly, they scared me too, but he needed me to be his safe place. I couldn’t allow myself to struggle. My routine driven nature that thrived on set expectations was stretched in extreme flexibility as I ebbed and flowed with my husband’s needs. The questions were endless. And I felt alone, so alone.

Recently, I was challenged to take an honest look at where I am in life right now – to answer questions objectively, to accept with grace the place God has allowed (and privileged) me to be in, then to fully immerse myself fully present in the where that I happen to be.

I was posed with questions to ponder. Question like: Has something recently changed in your life? Does a member of your family require more from you in this season? Is a loved one struggling with anxiety, panic, or a sickness? I felt like this woman had a secret portal in looking at my past few months. I felt struck by the questions, and as I considered the answers, I saw how I had been denying reality all along.

Each time the thought of my husband struggling with a mental illness would arise, I would quickly push it to the side. Anytime I was overwhelmed by my new-found responsibilities, I would look to the future convincing myself it would not always be this way. I found ways to escape my present reality by keeping myself busy, by investing in my sons, by eating ice cream. I wasn’t present. I was fighting the role I had been given with everything I was. I didn’t want to be where I was. I wanted things to go back to normal.

Care-giving is excruciating when you expect to be the one cared for. I found myself here as my husband's and my roles shifted for a season. I had to be strong because he was weak. I had to face my deepest fears head on: being alone and not feeling protected. I felt responsible for so much from the sale of our home and our upcoming move, to the stability of our sons, and the health of my husband. I didn’t like it one bit. I despised where I was. I hurt so much.

It’s 2020 now, and I long to be present. But I realize that in order to be here now. I need to understand where I am. And in order to understand where I am, I must admit and accept where I have been. As I look back over the past several months, I see that I was given a critical role at a critical time. It was a role that only I could fill. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t like it. But the reality is that God allowed it. Not only did he allow me to walk this path, but he equipped me with everything I needed for each step of the journey. His grace and his power was more than sufficient. And He was with me each step of the way.

My change in roles was a challenge I never expected. It caught me off guard. I felt displaced and wounded. And as I’ve realized that it is okay to admit that, I’ve started to open my heart and my hands. I’m learning to hold my emotions gently, to be honest with myself and God about what was hard and why and allow him to bring healing and hope there. Admitting where I was and accepting that role, I’m opening myself to be where I am now.

The present phase of our journey is not as intense as it was. In many ways, we’ve found healing and we are moving toward healthy balance in our roles once again. Where I am right now is in a season of transition, and I must be willing to accept my where now in order to fully engage in the present.

Your role may not be like mine. Maybe singleness is the role you never asked for – barrenness, being widowed or divorced. Maybe it’s a diagnosis that started the role of a patient. Maybe your role is caregiver for a parent, a spouse, a child, or even a grandchild. Maybe it’s a financial season of hardship, the necessity of an extra job to provide or cutting corners of your budget. Maybe you are enduring a strained relationship and your role is to be the one to reconcile. Or maybe your loved one has deployed and your are left to manage the home front and feel so alone.

A change in roles can be excruciating, challenging, disheartening, discouraging. And that’s okay to admit. Hold your emotions gently. Honor the way the role is making you feel and know that you can pour out your heart to Jesus when your role seems too much to bear. Then be there. Be all there. Be brave, my friend, the Lord your God is with you wherever you go!

"Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with every good thing to do His will. And may He accomplish in us what is pleasing in His sight through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen" (Hebrews 13:20-21).

"What Are You Thinking?" When the Foolishness of God is Wiser - Making Hard Decisions That Go Against the Flow

“What are you thinking?”

 “Are you serious?”

“Are you sure that’s the right decision?”

“What about your kids?” (or your space, your stuff, your place, your time, your . . .)

They get that confused look on their face as we share our news. “Foolishness,” they might think. “Crazy!” “I could never do that!”

You’d think we were announcing something radical like shaving our heads and joining a nudist colony or something. But nope, that’s definitely NOT our news!

We’re moving.

It’s that simple. We are selling our 2600 square foot house in a nice neighborhood to move back into our 1300 square foot older home across the state line.  We will go from four bedrooms to three, from three bathrooms to two, from a quarter acre to about a tenth of an acre, from a finished basement to a “Michigan basement.” We will go from bigger to smaller.

This is not the norm. This is not the expected, and therefore not the accepted. In America, we have the American Dream. We are always looking out for me first. We are constantly thinking about how to get ahead, how to have our cake and eat it too. Bigger. Better. Faster. Flirtier. More expensive. More extravagant!

We see the raised eyebrows, hear the whispers, feel the pity. Did something happen? Are they okay? Can they not afford it anymore?

It’s foolishness. Simply the foolishness of God. 1Corinthians 1:25 states that the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom.

Man’s wisdom says bigger. God’s foolishness says smaller. Man’s wisdom says me first. God’s foolishness says others first. Man’s wisdom says get ahead. God’s foolishness says to steward well what you have and look toward the future reward.

To be honest, in my own humanness, this is not a decision I would make. But when I look through the glasses of the foolishness of God, I can see clearly the eternal wisdom of this choice. Selling now, will give us the opportunity to be debt free and the freedom to save, serve, and spend the resources we’ve been entrusted with in the ways God calls us to.

Will it be hard? Yes. But friends, I’ve learned that I can do the hard things if I know it makes God smile. Will it be challenging? Yes. But He gives more grace! Will it be emotional? Absolutely! Who wants to leave their place of comfort and memories?

I’ve struggled with this decision. I’ve cried. I’ve started a grieving process that will take me a while. But I’ve also found peace – a peace that surpasses even my understanding.

As humans, throughout our lives, we make decisions. Some easy. Some hard. Some make sense, and others don’t. My friends, whatever decision you’re facing, I pray you will seek and find the heart of God. Whether your choice does or doesn’t make sense in the wisdom of this world, I pray you will stand with resolve in the hard thing. Our choices may confuse our friends and even our family. But if we are walking in step with the Holy Spirit, we can rest assured that the foolishness of God is wiser! 

What Did I Do to Deserve . . . ?

I headed out on a walk/run this morning for the first time since I delivered our son. The sun had not yet risen. I turned on my playlist – the same one that played as I pushed through the fear and the pain to protect my baby and bring life into the world. A rush of emotions flooded back as I thought back to that day, and as I pushed my body, as my feet pounded the pavement, I remembered pushing, pushing pushing.

I thought about my little boy – in the months leading up to the day of his birth, he grew in my womb. He developed just as God designed; he rolled and tumbled and kicked me from the inside. Before I even met him, I was in love. And as of yet, he had done absolutely nothing to deserve that love. He hadn’t flashed me a gummy smile. He hadn’t gazed deep into my eyes. He hadn’t babbled or uttered the first “I wuv you.” But as I realized his life was in danger, I was willing to do anything. Anything! I loved my son already because of who he was – my son! And I wanted life for him.

As I continued my route this morning, my music began to serenade me the lyrics of “One Thing Remains/How He Loves.” And I began to ponder the cross – the cross that Christ pushed through. The pain. The agony. He pushed, pushed, pushed. And as of yet, we had done nothing to deserve that kind of love. We had not sung his praise. We had not lifted our hands to heaven. We had not told our neighbors of his greatness. He realized our lives were in danger, and Jesus was willing to do anything. Anything! He loved us already! While we were still sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). And because of his great love for us, God who is rich in mercy made us alive with Christ while we were yet dead in our sins (Eph. 2:4). He love us not because of what we’ve done, but because of who we are – His creation, his children – and he wanted (and wants) life for us. Life, not death!

I pushed through the pain to bring my son life. And Christ pushed through the pain to bring us life. Me. You. Us. We are loved, friends. So greatly Loved!

"But it Hurts So Bad!" The Crucial Choice to Courageously Push Into the Pain or Hold Back in Fear

Thirteen hours! It has been thirteen hours of irregular contractions that had gotten stronger and led us to this point. This is not what I expected for the birth of our sixth son. None of my other labors had lasted this long, but it was finally time – finally time to push my little man into this world.

Finally, Time to Push

I assumed a comfortable (that term is relative) position in the birthing tub and waited for the next contraction. As it washed over me, I bore down into it just to the point of comfort. That’s what we had been taught in Bradley Classes and had worked before in our other births. I felt pressure and knew that was a good thing.

That contraction passed, and our midwife decided to get heart tones again. As she placed the probe on my belly, I breathed deep preparing myself for the next contraction. Lub dub, lub dub. My ears couldn’t escape the incredibly slow rate of the heartbeat of our little boy. I took a deep breath willing that the rate increase. It didn’t. My midwife assured me that it was just his descent through my pelvis and didn’t seem too worried.

The next contraction started to build, and I inhaled before bearing down again. I felt the familiar burn as his head came lower. I opened my eyes and caught my breath about to push again, when I noticed a bright red gush of blood. (Being a nurse, my brain immediately went into diagnosis mode.) I knew I hadn’t torn since he was not yet crowning. The only other probability of that kind of bleeding was that his placenta had detached as I was pushing. Suddenly, I realized that our little boy still inside me was no longer receiving oxygen from my body. The only way to help him at this point was to get him out and get him out fast!

Pushing Through

I didn’t even wait for the next contraction before starting to push again. His head descended and began to crown. The pressure, the burning! Guttural instinct made me want to wince and hold back. It hurt so bad! But I knew in this moment, the best way to protect my child was to push into that pain, no matter the cost to myself. I took another breath and began to roar like a mamma grizzly as I pushed into all of that pressure. My body stretching, burning, aching. I was scared, but I knew that in this moment, courage must overcome that fear. Bravery must prevail.

The worship music that I had playing provided encouragement for me to grasp as I let out a gasp and pushed again. Finally, his head emerged. The midwife was now instructing me to continue pushing to release his shoulders and abdomen. I heard the intensity in her tone and knew I could not rest just yet. Another breath, and this push took everything I had. His shoulders corkscrewed and released, and he slipped into my husbands waiting hands. The midwife helped to untangle a tight cord around his neck before I was able to lift him out of the water and bring him close.

Is He Okay?

When he emerged, he did not gasp, he did not grunt. He was blue, flaccid, and floppy. We immediately started rubbing his back, stimulating his little body for some sort of response. The midwife felt his cord, and his heart rate was present, but low. Panic rose in my chest. Had I done enough? Was he going to be okay? I wanted to cry, but the time was not right. We needed to get him breathing. The midwife started to pull out her resuscitation equipment. Another few seconds passed and then a mew, a grunt, a grimace. We were getting a response. That first cry allowed me to breathe a sigh of relief. His tone and his color were improving. He was going to be okay!

My son is now five-days-old and is doing well. It has taken me a while to process through this birth experience – so different from all of my others, and not exactly what I expected or dreamed for our last  birth, but as I’ve prayed and thought through the painful and fearful aspects of this birth, I’ve come to realize that the decision I was faced with that day is a decision that I’m faced with many days of my life.

When something hurts me, I have a choice to push into that pain in strength and courage or retreat in fear and self-preservation.

The Choices We Face

We all face these choices. The pain we encounter isn’t always physical like the pain of childbirth. Sometimes it’s the wounds from words or actions of a spouse, a parent, a close friend. It might be a disappointment of a dream unfulfilled – an engagement or marriage that falls through, the dream house that couldn’t be financed, the job that you were let go from, the empty arms when you long for a child. Maybe it's the pregnancy that was not in your plans or you're facing a chronic disease that does cause physical pain, fears, and so many unknowns. It could be you've lost a loved one, and the thought of continuing alone is terrifying. Or maybe it's an upcoming opportunity that is causing nervous fear that you might fail – a talent show, a job interview, a promotional venture, or a big move.

In each place that we are confronted with pain and fear, we are also met with a choice: to push into or run away from.

I don’t like to presume the worst, but in the case of the birth of our son, had I not risen to that challenge and pushed through the pain, he very well could have wound up brain injured due to lack of oxygenation. Or worse, it may have resulted in his death. And my lack of pushing through that pain in the moment would have caused tremendously more pain in the long run. My holding back would have been more comfortable for me in the moment, but it could have caused permanent pain on behalf of my son – or in my own heart had I lost him.

So what do I do when we face these fearful and painful circumstance and it’s easier to want to run?

Courage over Fear:

Realize Fear is About Me, Not Others

My desires to hold back my efforts in pushing were to facilitate my own comfort. Had I given into fear, it would have been all about me. I loved my son. I wanted what’s best for him. In order to push past the fear, I had to get my eyes off myself and consider my son as more important that me (Phil.2:3-4). 

Realize I’m Not Alone

One of the verses that continued to come up during my labor and birth was Isaiah 41:10. “Do not fear for I am with you. Do not be afraid for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you by my righteous right hand.” It’s easy to give into fear when I think I’m all alone. In those moments of pain, I had to grasp onto the faith that God promised he would never leave me nor forsake me (Deut. 31:6). I could lean hard into him when I was afraid knowing that I was not on my own.

Realize That the Outcome Does Not Stop at Me

When our son finally emerged from the water and into my arms, I immediately faced fear again of whether I had done enough. I remember as a teen and young adult, my dad would encourage me to work like it all depended on me, but to trust like it all depended on God. Or my pastor would state that God’s sovereignty does not undermine man’s responsibility.

As I’ve grown in my understanding of these exhortations, I’ve realized that the truth of what they were saying was more balanced than I initially understood. My trust in God doesn’t give me a right to be passive and simply wait for him to move, and sometimes that’s the temptation. Okay, You’re God. If you’re in control, what are you going to do to get me out of this? But had I taken that approach in the birth of my son, he would have been oxygen starved much longer than he was. I had to work. I had to put in effort even though it hurt. Then, I had to trust God with the results.

When I work hard, and push into the pain in strength and courage rather than running away in fear, the results may not always turn out perfectly. Sometimes, I may walk away feeling like a failure. Many times, I may have more questions than answers. The friendship may never blossom again. The disease may take over and take my independence away and suck the life out of me. The job may fall through.

But if I don’t try, if I don’t take a stand in courage, if I’m unwilling to push through the pain, I may never know the joy of the new life it might bring about on the other side. Courage over fear, my friends. Courage over fear!

“Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

(The song that’s playing in my head and heart!)