Groundhog Marathon 2014

It’s come, and it’s gone – Groundhog day, that is, and the Groundhog Marathon in Grand Rapids with it. The questions have started rolling in – as I figured they would. “So, how did it go?” “What was your time?” “How was the course, the weather, etc..?” Long story, short……I didn’t finish. I withdrew after only one loop on the course (4.4 miles.) For some of you that may be enough information, for others (who want more details) keep reading.

To say that yesterday wasn’t what I expected would be an understatement. J and I followed a traditional marathon training schedule with our 20 miler happening three weeks ago with a gradual taper afterward. We had been running both indoors and out in order to prepare our bodies/mind for the cold. The temps didn’t seem to be too much of an issue, and we had run in snow (with Yak Tracks) several times.

The groundhog day course was described as a 4.4 mile paved park path with beautiful scenery. They were hoping for some snow to add an element of fun. Sounded all well and good to us…..Needless to say, this winter has blessed us with more than a “little” snow, and with a snowstorm that rolled in on Saturday, the path was adequately covered Sunday morning – and not just covered, the snow drifts were up to 18 inches in some places! They did not plow the path at all, yet, being at the back of the pack, most times, we were only running through 4-10 inches of snow at any given moment. 

Having heard some of the pre-race comments, I had prepared myself mentally for a more grueling course than expected, so as thoughts of doubts came up, I pushed them away, refocusing my mind on the prayer cards in my hands. 

Unfortunately, the amount of snow slowed our pace so much so that we were being passed up by other runners quite frequently. (And because the trodden path was so narrow, we got pushed into the snow banks when they wanted to get by quickly as their shoes slipped on the slush and many nearly lost balance – there was much bumping into one another….) The repetitive motion of being pushed up onto the right side of the trail and my leg sliding back down under me from off the uneven elevation caused a pull in my outer quad before the first mile marker. I attempted to compensate by keeping my legs more evenly under my body, but this caused more intense effort on the part of my calves as my ankles twisted and tugged with the sliding motion. We hit mile 1 after 20 minutes, Mile 2 after 45. My body ached, and I was seriously starting to deal with some self-doubt. This is not what I had signed up for!

I was starting to notice that my right calf was aching each time it slipped off the edge and back onto the path, and by mile 3 (after 1 hour 15 minutes), I was experiencing sharp pain with nearly every step (yes, by this point, we had slowed to a hiking pace). I couldn’t stand the thought of quitting! I hated that it was even becoming an option. To quit is to fail, I don’t care how much pain I am in! 

At the beginning of the race, the director had announced that anyone could drop down to a half-marathon distance if they decided they wanted to. This thought also crossed my mind. At our current pace (which I couldn’t really go faster without risking even more damage to my already injured calf) we would never finish the 26.2 miles in the time allotted. So even if I pushed to finish the mileage, I may still not finish. Should I drop down to 13.1? What would people think? How would I describe what I did? And that was still failing to me. 

J noticed that I was in pain. I asked him what we should do. We talked. We prayed. The thought of having to explain this all to everyone was overwhelming. By this point (mile 3.5) many of the racers were now walking. Elite runners were making comments about the course, about their time (one runner stated that she wouldn’t finish the first loop in the time she finished her last half marathon). Many were considering dropping down to the half or dropping the race all together. We plodded on while we considered our options. As I prayed, I realized that my focus should not be on what other people would think of me, but what would God think? Would I let him down if I didn’t finish? Would I disappoint him if I withdrew from the race? What was our ultimate purpose in this marathon, anyway? Was it not to lift other people up to the throne of grace? Grace: undeserved favor…. I definitely wouldn’t be deserving if I didn’t finish. 

It only took a couple more times of the sheering force on my ankle and calf to make the decision for me. I asked J if I could be honest with him. At mile 4, I made the decision that I should not try to complete another loop for the risk of a more permanent injury. This was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make. If you know anything about me, you know that not completing a goal is one of the worst violations of my personality. My heart was breaking. I knew at the same time, I still wanted to be there for my husband, and I didn’t want my injury to hold him back. So I gave him the freedom to complete what he felt like he should. As we crossed the lap line, (at 1 hour 48 minutes) I informed the director that I would be withdrawing, and J decided to cut back to the half marathon. 

J crossed the finish of the half at 4 hours 22 minutes (He finished his last half in 2 hours 27 minutes – if that tells you anything about the course) . During that time that J was continuing to push through the race, I was continuing to push through in prayer. I still accomplished the purpose we started out with – everyone who made it on my prayer list was lifted up to God despite the circumstances.

I struggle now, even as I write this – all I really wanted to do, post-race, was to crawl right down in that hole with that groundhog and hide out for the next six weeks. I’m embarrassed. I’m hurt. I’m frustrated at the circumstances. I deal with questions, and tears come. Sure, I could have taken a “shrug it off” approach… “It’s all good. I’m fine.” But that’s not being real. Or I could have taken a “woe is me” approach and just sulked about the conditions. Both would have been easier than admitting the truth. But this is what I’m called to, and in the midst of this, I realize another truth……

God is still sovereign. He knew exactly how this race was going to play out before we even signed up for it. He knew how difficult the training would be. He knew the weather conditions (he controls them, go figure). And he knew about my injury before I even knew I’d fall in love with running. And I can rest in the fact that he is in control, he is not surprised, and his grace is sufficient. And I am convinced – even if I cannot see it right now – God is cultivating my heart even through my perceived failures. 

If you have made it this far, you are a true friend! I thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for opening your heart to mine. And I ask for your prayers now – pray for me as I go forward. Pray for wisdom. Pray that God would be glorified. And pray that I would ever pursue Him more fully! Soli Deo Gloria!

 
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Hail to the Chief (Response in light of the 2012 Elections)

To say that the state of our nation saddens and burdens my heart is an understatement. I understand very well where we, as a nation, may be heading over the next four years. That thought is a scary one, indeed!

However, I am also somewhat appalled at the overwhelming amount of slander and despair I have seen expressed on social networking sites especially by fellow Christ-followers. As proclaimers of the truth, we do have a responsibility to express fact - but in a loving way. As humans, we also have full rights to have strong emotional reactions when things that effect our lives do not turn out as expected. This, however, should not override our trust in a Sovereign God and His plan for us or our nation!

I did my civic duty yesterday, and I pray that many of my brothers and sisters are not overwhelmed by a spirit of regret today as they realize their lack of activism was actually passivism at work. But at the same time, I realize the election is now over, and what's done is done.

In my time with God this morning, I sought out what my response should be in light of the results at the polls. I was encouraged as I was reminded once again that we may try to direct the course of history, but God is the ultimate one who holds the editor's pen to this story.

Proverbs 16:33 - The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.
and
Proverbs 19:21 - Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
and
Proverbs 15:3 - The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.

The fact that President Obama was re-elected did not slip past our Father - this was not an oops. And God is still in control.

Proverbs 21:1 - The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.

I was also reminded that my place is not to slander my authorities nor to condemn the results of the election.

Proverbs 24:21-22 - My son, fear the Lord and the king, and do not join with those who do otherwise, for disaster will arise suddenly from them, and who knows the ruin that will come from them both?

Romans 13:1-7 states that we are to be subject to the governing authorities for every authority is established and instituted by God; It is our responsibility to respect and honor those that God have set in authority above us both for the sake of honoring God as well as for the sake of conscience. Just as Jesus tells the Pharisees in Matthew 22, Pay to Cesar what is Cesar's, we are reminded here to, "Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

Finally, as a believer, I am not supposed to just sit idly by while the world around me gets fed to the dogs. I have a responsibility as a follower of Christ to be proactive in mind, body, and spirit.

Timothy exhorts us: "First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth." (1 Timothy 2:1-4)

Do you realize that President Obama, First Lady Michele, Malia, and Sasha were each handcrafted in the image of God? And God's heart for each one of them is that they come to a saving knowledge of God as their personal Savior! He loves them with an everlasting Love! Shouldn't our response be the same?

What if President Obama is just the guy God wants in office right now in order to move believers to their knees for our country. Far be it from me to assume the purposes of our Father, but what if the destitute state of our Nation is what He wants to use to bring the Church back to Himself!

I raise a challenge for you over the next four years...

1 - Trust God's heart and Plan
2 - Choose to honor and submit, choose to avoid foolish talk and slander
3 - Rise to the moment, and fall to your knees!!!

Here are some specific ways you can be praying:
- Pray for President Obama and our other national leaders - for their Salvation
- Pray that they will have hearts of Servant Leaders
- Pray that they will Stand up for truth
- Pray that the Spirit of the Lord would move in our Nation!

May God be glorified in me, in my fellow believers, in our nation!



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If Not You, Then Who?

This morning, I started my seeking time by asking God why I felt like my time with Him had been so dry recently. The richness has faded, the passion no longer what it used to be. I found myself asking Him to search my heart, to know it, to show me if there be any wicked way in me...

His reply, "Hannah, take your eyes off yourself."

God revealed to me a heart of selfishness in my prayer life recently. "God I need...I'm weary...I want...meet me...help me...use me..." My intercession for those around me has been severely lacking. I confessed this to my Father, and I spent my time this morning just lifting up those in my family - my husband, my boys, my parents, my siblings, their spouses, my in-laws, my friends, my pastors, and our national leaders.

Here's a quick visual of what God showed me this morning.... if my eyes/prayers remain solely on myself, here's the potential of my impact...

However, if I take the time, energy, and effort to get on my knees just for my family, here's the potential of the impact that they, their families, and their communities could have in the process of revival in this nation...

 

 

Can you imagine if more that one person started calling out to God for revival not only in their own life, but in the lives of their families....what would our nation look like over the next 12 months? What kind of impact could your family have?

Would you join me in calling out to God for revival not only in your own life, but in the lives of your family members...look at what God could do with just one willing generation!

 



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Praying Like My Father Taught Me

 

 

I know I briefly posted this on facebook last week, but it has been so powerful in my prayer life I thought I would expound a bit more here....

 

A while back, I was trying to figure out how to fill my prayer time, and I was constantly finding myself caught up in asking for my needs and feeling like a portion of the richness that should be there was missing. So one morning I asked God about it, and he lead me to where the disciples asked him the same question...

 

"Lord, teach us to pray,"

 

So he gave us a perfect example of a template for prayer.Most of you, I'm sure, are familiar with the Lord's prayer.

 

Our Father, who art in heaven,

hallowed be Thy name,

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors,

and lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory,

forever and ever,

Amen.

 



 Instead of reciting the prayer word for word, I decided to break it down and make it more personal. As I have made a practice of this, my prayer life has been greatly enriched as I learn more of the heart of my Father.

 

Do you want to pray as our Father taught? Here's what I suggest...

 

Our - (or my) Thank God for the fact that he possesses you and you posses His Holy Spirit. There is a genuine personal aspect to the God we serve. He chose you in Him before the creation of the world.

 

Father - Not only is the relationship personal, we have an intimate connection with God as our Father! Praise him for this!

 

Who art in Heaven - His ways and thoughts are higher than ours, and he has full right to reign as God. Proclaim His Lordship, His Highness, His Power and Right to rule.

 

Hallowed be - His holiness no one can fathom. Praise Him for His holiness, and His grace to see past our sin and clothe us in His righteousness.

 

Thy Name - Proclaim the name of our Lord and Savior. He is Jehovah Shalom - our peace, Jehovah Jirah - our provider, Jehovah Rophe - our healer, Jehovah Tiskinu - our righteousness, Jehovah Nissi - our banner, the Prince of Peace, the Lamb of God, the Great I AM. Praise Him for who He is!

 

Thy Kingdom come - (not mine) Admit Christ right and Lordship over the earth and the heavens. Pray that all kingdoms (yours and any other unrightful kingdom) will be overcome by His power and rule.

 

Thy will be done - (not mine) Lay down your will at the foot of the cross. Open your hands and your heart to the heart of God. Search scripture, and pray God's will back to him. (He is willing that none should perish but that all should come to repentance....)

 

On earth as it is in heaven - Pray that God's will would be carried out in your life, in the life of your family, in your church, in your city, in this nation, and in our world.

 

Give us this day - God knows what you need in this moment, in this day.Praise Him for that. He tells us not to worry about tomorrow. Confess any anxiety you may be feeling regarding today or the future.

 

Our Daily bread - Ask God what it is that you need today and ask Him to meet those needs.

 

Forgive us our debts - Ask God to search your heart and know you, and see if there is any wicked way within you. (give Him time, and listen closely) Confess anything that He may bring to mind. Thank Him for His grace and forgiveness. Resolve to make right anything that may be between you and another individual.

 

As we forgive our debtors - Ask God to search you once again to see if there is any offense you are holding onto. Release the prisoner, forgive, and follow Christ's example of grace, choosing no longer to hold the hurt against the offender.

 

And lead us - Give God the steering wheel today. Ask Him to be your guide through each decision, in each moment, with each person.

 

Not into temptation - Realize temptation will come (especially if you are following Close to Christ - the devil doesn't like this). God always provides a way of escape. Ask that your eyes may be open to the way out and that you might have the boldness to take the way out.

 

But deliver us from evil - Evil exists, it's real, and it hates good. Take time to put on the full armor of Christ today before you face the battles ahead. (Helmet of salvation, breastplate of righteousness, shield of faith, sword of the spirit, belt of truth, feet fitted with readiness that comes from the gospel) Then ask Christ to be your rear guard.

 

For Thine is the Kingdom - (not my kingdom) Confess once again that Christ has the right to rule and reign. Pray that His rule would be evident and your kingdom would be subject to His.

 

And the Power - (not in my own strength) Confess that you have no power apart from Him. Pray that His power would be evident in your life and in the lives of those around you.

 

And the Glory - (not for my own glory) Pray that your life would be lived for the purpose of magnifying the Father and not yourself. Pray that His fame would spread as a result of how you live your life.

 

Forever and Ever - pray that this would be true not just today, but in every moment of every day that you live.

 

Amen - and Amen!

 

Do you feel like your prayer life has been lacking recently? I challenge you to try praying like Jesus taught and see what it can do for you!

 

Seek Him, Delight in Him, Know Him and be known!!!



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What do You do When You Feel Like You've Failed as a Catalyst of Revival?

Yesterday morning I got up, I sought God, and I had a very sweet time! I went into my day walking in His Spirit. Feeling lead by His presence, I saw my husband, my boys, and my household duties in a new light.

But as the sun rose in the sky, so did the edge of my emotions. Several small things happened that were little thorns in my flesh - nuances, per se', but irritating nonetheless. My emotions wanted to react quickly that things were not going as planned, and I wanted the world to know it. Thankfully, still being early in the day, I cried out for God's grace and strength, gave Him these frustrations, and let them go.

We spent some time as a family in the afternoon, and by 3:30pm, both of my boys were done. They were crabby, whiny, and had an extremely hard time listening and obeying. My buttons were being pushed again. I wanted to get them down for naps as quickly as possible, but as you know, kids have a way of taking their sweet time when you most want them to hurry up. My reaction was so sudden that I didn't even notice it before it was on my tongue. I snapped at my husband and treated my boys more harshly than I should. Immediately, I was embarrassed at the steam coming out of my ears and my rapid response. I bit my tongue, not believing what I had just allowed to escape. Where was my consciousness of God's Spirit at that moment?

I sought forgiveness from those I had offended and laid down for a nap, crying myself to sleep and hoping that some rest might help clear my Spirit's vision. On waking, I felt more edgy than before. I felt wasted, exhausted, like I had given everything I was. I felt selfish. I wanted some personal time. I needed some time. I deserved some time. Hadn't I given enough for one day?

As soon as the thoughts arose, so did the guilt. How could I even be thinking these things? I want to see revival in my life...in the lives of my family. I want to seek to be like Christ. I want to glorify Him and see Him lifted up at the center of all I do. How could I even consider my own needs? Yet, despite the guilt, my desire for my own way was growing and spiraling out of control. I felt overwhelmed with how strong these desires were. I knew I couldn't control them. I felt weak, and once again I called out for God's strength to be made perfect in me at that moment. But for some reason, I didn't get an immediate empowering. Nothing miraculous happened.

My husband caught me in this moment of weakness, and received a helping of my rapidly growing emotions. Once again the guilt grew. I was failing miserably. How could this happen after such a wonderful time with God that morning. It was like a switch was flipped. I felt in sorts like Jekyll and Hyde. I composed myself just enough to let my husband know I needed a few moments, and I fled to my corner. (I have a chair, fountain, and items of comfort set around in the corner of my bedroom. It becomes my place to seek God - my prayer closet of sorts).

On arriving, I fell to my knees. My body shook as I couldn't hold back the sobs. I was trying so hard, God. I desperately want to walk with you - to have you meet me on a moment by moment basis. But then I fail so miserably! How could you ever use a weak vessel like me?

What do I do when I feel like I've failed as a catalyst of Revival?

God's Spirit met with me in that sweet time and lead my to Lamentations.

Lam. 3:21-25, 40-41
But this I call to mind, and therefore, I have hope. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to and end. They are new every morning. Great is they faithfulness. The Lord is my portion says my soul. Therefore I will hope in Him. The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him...Let us test and examine our ways and return to the Lord. Let us lift up our hearts and hands to God in heaven.

And this is what He said:

1) Remember: You serve a merciful God. He does not reject me as a useful vessel because I don't get it right the first time. vs. 22-23

2) Be Willing: It's not up to you to be perfect, but it is up to you to be willing... a vessel that his perfection can shine through. (The Lord is my portion...hope in Him) vs. 24

3) Wait: He waits and longs for you to seek Him. And He desires to bless those that wait for Him. vs. 25-26

4) Return: I must continue to seek Him for personal revival. (Let us test and examine our ways and return.) vs. 40-41

Do you feel like you have failed? Do you feel unusable? Unfit? Weak? GREAT! God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things, and the despised things, and the things that are not to nullify the things that are so that no one can boast before Him! He's not through with you!

Join me in pursuing God. Run to Him. Ask Him to seek and know your heart. Confess that which may be brought to mind, and go and live in His Freedom and Forgiveness!

*If you'd like to read about the commitment that I have made and why, please see the previous post. Let me know if you are joining with me on this Road to Revival! I'd love to hear from you!

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Let it Begin in Me

I returned from True Woman '12 nearly one week ago, now. It has taken me this long to really process all of what I have been learning and that which God is working on my heart.

I guess growing up in Life Action Ministries, I had always been surrounded by the thought of national revival, and it many ways, I grew numb and complacent to the whole idea. Why did God need me to call on Him anyway? He was God...He could move anytime he wanted - whether I was asking him to or not. Having been out of the ministry "officially" now for 5 or so years, the idea of praying for revival was a bygone one, and when I saw the One Cry video again at True Woman, I subconsciously rolled my eyes and waited for Byron and Bill to get up and share. What I didn't expect is what happened next: God pricked my heart. "Hannah, what if you are the one I am waiting on to call out to me?"

For so long, I had bought into the lie that "I am only one." The truth is, I AM ONE, and God wants this one calling out to him for personal and corporate revival.

Now, when I say revival, I don't mean the emotional high of a spirit lead worship service then everyone going back to their own lives. I'm talking repentance, getting right with God, right relationships, renewal, passion, vigor, evangelism, ministry, service to our neighbors and strangers, caring for the poor, the invalids, the weak....being the face of Jesus to those we see every moment and every day. And that doesn't just happen overnight.  And that doesn't ever happen in our own strength. We need a supernatural visitation from our Supernatural God!

So I came home, I got back into life. I kept crying out to God for a change in my own life - and I'm seeing change - change in how I relate to my husband, change in how I treat my boys, change in how I view my God, change in how I see those I encounter at the store and on the street. I thought that was it. I obeyed, right?

Sure, but God was ready for me to take it a step further. Guess what? I still had an argument....God, I can't commit to a weekly Bible study. I cannot even regularly have people over to my home to pray because our family lives a rotational schedule. How am I supposed to ever be involved in seeking you with others?

"TECHNOLOGY and MY SPIRIT." That's what he said. Think of all the current avenues we have to communicate and encourage one another - even sharing personal testimony. Our God is an omnipresent God, and His Spirit that Unites us sees and knows our hearts.

What if I'm not the only one He wants calling out to Him on a regular basis? What if He wants you?

So here's what I'm committing to do. Every Saturday until the end of the year (and probably longer, but I needed a time frame) I will be seeking God for revival in my own heart, in the heart of my family, of my extended family, my church, my community, my state, my nation and ultimately our world for one hour in the morning before my boys wake up.

For me, this will be 6am-7am, and I would love to have as many of you join me as are willing! For some of you, this time may not work due to other commitments or work or family, etc. I understand, and so does God. But I encourage you to find a consistent time. Join with me. Join with others in ONE CRY for God's presence to be poured out once again.

LET IT BEGIN IN ME!

ps - please let me know if you will join me in this commitment and how you would like to stay in touch. I will try to post regular updates here, and maybe eventually start a conversational forum for whoever is interested. Blessings on you!

For More information, visit www.onecry.com

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