Mom's Night Out

Mom’s night out. I had one of those last night, and I saw the movie by the same name too. It was really well made. I laughed. I cried right along with the other 13 ladies I was with. And I related. I related to the feelings of being overwhelmed as a mom of three little ones. I related to the writing on the wall, the messes in the kitchen, the endless laundry, and wanting to hide from it all. I related to having to deal with the kids at church by yourself thing – yes, that’s how some of my Sunday mornings actually look. And I related to Allie’s determination, “I started this by myself, and I’m going to finish it!” 

I was surrounded by people last night. But I still felt alone. If they knew how much I struggled, if they knew how much I don’t have it together, if they knew the real status of my heart (not just the ones I post on facebook.)……what would happen? I wondered if other ladies related as well. I’m sure they must, but we laugh at the irony of it all, and we put our masks and costumes right back on because we want our sisters to think we do have it all together.

Our masks alienate us from one another. We rub shoulders, offer hugs, but we don’t see what’s really there under the costume. Much like the Pastor’s wife in the movie – admired by all, yet so alone. She hadn’t been invited out with the girls in over five years. No one knew her. She struggled, but she was strong. She hurt, but she had to constantly offer hope to those around her. She had regrets, but she didn’t know how to relate. Finally, she opens up, and when she did, people realized she was human – not superwoman. People realized she had needs, and ironically, they were willing to meet them.

Why is it that I think if I have needs people will look down on me? Instead, they may just look me in the eye. They may just be willing to see past the façade and see my soul.

That’s what I long for. That’s what real community is about. When I can take off the pristine outfit, and show my dirt and scars, maybe I’ll see how many other mom’s out there carry around some of the same wounds.

I love how Paul puts it is 1 Corinthians 4. He’s talking about judging those around you, and he poses three questions to the Corinthians. “What makes you different than anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you have not?”

This passage addresses three issues for me:

1. We’re all on level playing fields. We’ve all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Our Salvation is by Grace – not our works. We all deserved the same punishment no matter how little or big our “sins” were. I have no right to judge those around me. I have no right to judge myself in light of who I think they are.

2.  Anything that I think I may possess (talents, gifts, lessons I’ve learned, character qualities) have been given me from above. I can claim no talent apart from God. I can claim no ability apart from grace. This knowledge levels my pride and helps me to see that it’s not me, it’s God.
3. I have been gifted. I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places. Why do I get down on myself and feel like I don’t possess that which some of my sisters do? Sometimes, I get confused about humility. In our culture, it is seen as making one’s self lower. But the true definition of humility is to know one’s proper place – and that means knowing how richly I have been blessed and living out of that identity.

Lord, as I grow in you. Help me to learn to relate to the ladies around me and not walk in self-righteousness knowing that we really area all on level playing fields. Help me to remember your grace and what you’ve saved me from – and also what you’ve saved me to. Remind me that anything that I am is because of you – not works that I have done. And when I’m tempted to look down on myself, open my eyes to the beautiful masterpiece that you are creating right here, right now, in the midst of this “beautiful mess.” To you alone be the glory!