Escaping the Monster

I felt like no matter where I turned or how fast I ran, the monster was always chasing me. I was trying so hard to live in my new found freedom, but somehow these imprints of my past kept breaking loose of their chains, and though not catching me, would still make me feel like all my work was failing.

From my point of view, my actions had matched the "standards of holiness," yet, every time I turned around someone else was assuming that in the midst of that stressful situation, I would resort to former patterns: snapping at them, blaming, or getting angry. Before I even had a chance to respond in a new way, my old habits were slapped back on my chest like a scarlet letter I carried around. I couldn't escape it.

How do you escape the monsters of your past? The sin that has held you in condemnation for so long? The patterns and habits that everyone assumes are "just you." Or the feeling that you could never rise above failures so deep?

I was praying through this the other morning after a really tough day, and this is where I was lead....

- Take the road of humility. Confess. Maybe my life wasn't living up to all the standards I had assumed it was. Maybe these people saw something in me that I was blind to. My spirit and my actions may not have matched (though I was "doing the right thing," maybe my heart wasn't in it, and the heart is what really counts) So I searched my heart. Lord, show me the reality of what you see. He did! And some of it was ugly. 1 John 1:9 says that if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. So I confessed. I got on my knees and got my heart right before God. Then I returned to these people, and got my heart right before them.

- Realize you are incapable. The book of Romans clearly states that all have sinned and there is no one who seeks God. I, in my humanness, have no bent to seek God, no power to pursue holiness, and no desire to see revival. When I come to this realization, I must daily, moment by moment, cry out, "GOD I NEED YOU!" It's when we acknowledge our reliance on Him that He comes. God loves to hear His people admit their need of Him. What I don't want to do is live in pride. If I think my pursuit of God relies on me, that's when I will fall!

- Rejoice that you are not condemned. There is therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1. In Christ's eyes, we are washed under His blood and clothed in His holiness. The sins of our past are washed away as far as the east is from the west. He chooses to remember them no more and will not condemn those who stand right before Him. The sins of the past, whether one time or reoccurring, have been removed from your record once they have been laid before the cross of Christ. Even my former patterns of stress, striving, anger, assuming, and blaming no longer bind me. I am not held in the chains of my past! Praise the Lord.

If your heart is right before God, do not let the condemnation of others mark you. You are FREE!

That's how I escaped the monsters of my past...

Tomorrow, I will once again spend extended time seeking His face in my own life, in the lives of my family, friends, church, community and nation. I've been praying that God will raise up a group of believers who will also Seek Him Passionately and Wholeheartedly. WILL YOU JOIN ME?

By His strength, seeking Him. By His grace, pursuing His holiness. By His strength, desiring revival.
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